We need to taste grace and know once again that we desire it... Looking out on a clean plank of planet earth, we can get shaken right down to the bone by the bronze-eyed possibility of lives that are not our own.
I think she was talking about saving the environment and keeping the earth clean for future generations, but something about it really struck me, so I wrote it down.
Get ready guys; this is that post.
Last Sunday afternoon, my brother Robby and I loaded up my car and prepared to make an approximately six-hour road trip back to Searcy, Arkansas to finish up our semester before Christmas. It had been a great Thanksgiving break, but it had been a long break. I was ready to get back and "knock out" all of the things that would come my way this week. It was expected to be extremely stressful.
30 minutes in I realized that I had left my phone charger at home. I can't help but think of how everything would be different now if we had only chosen to add an hour to the trip by going around and getting it.
We were listening to one of my favorite CDs, Caedmon's Call's Overdressed. "Two Weeks in Africa" played through the speakers of my Kia Spectra. I remember telling my brother about my favorite line in the song, "We put the walls up, but Jesus keeps 'em standin'", but that might have been earlier in the trip. Or even a different road trip altogether.
The roads in Campbell, TX, out past Greenville, are kinda rough. Construction and whatnot. I got into the passing lane, well, to pass. I wasn't going too fast. I don't even think I was following too close. Suddenly, two cars in front of me swerved back into the right-hand lane, leaving me with the ability to see a vehicle, a light blue Honda I think, at a stand still in my lane. Apparently she had shredded a tire and then lost control of her car, and she wound up completely stopped. In the fast lane. The rest is history.
I slammed on my brakes, thinking at first that I would be able to stop. Within milliseconds it became clear I could not. I remember Robby in the passenger seat, turning towards me and giving me instructions that I could not even comprehend. I thought about swerving into the median, but the guard rail on the other side of the highway seemed all too undesirable. I somehow perceived a vehicle next to me in the right-hand lane, and while I was busy perceiving, I plowed into the back of the vehicle stopped in the left lane.
Later on, my dad asked me if I heard a crash, boom, bang, thud or anything like that. It wasn't until several days later that I remembered the sound of the collision. Like giant glass wind chimes falling to the ground and shattering. But I remembered the sights and the smells. I didn't see my life flash before my eyes, I saw Mia's life flash before my eyes. Literally. I had all sorts of memories of my Kia come back to me. We had survived so much together. Had this really come to pass? How bad was the damage she had suffered? And the smells. That airbag dust smell is the worst smell I had ever smelt.
Here's the weird part- The music was still playing. In those few short moments of sitting in the driver's seat of the car that Maw-Maw gave me for the last time ever..."A girl got on a plane for two weeks in Africa."
Then Robby, convinced of the imminent explosion of the car, began giving me instructions once again. "Alli, get out of the car. GET outtathecar!" without turning off the battery or removing my keys, I made a move for the door handle, upon which I realized something was not right with my finger. It was not supposed to stick out that far, or point that direction. Yeah, and that bump the size of a fist right below my elbow wasn't there when I got up this morning. I opted to open the door with my right hand instead. When I got out of the car though, I wished I hadn't. The girl who was the passenger in the car I hit was standing there, screaming into the back seat of her vehicle. I thought I had killed someone. Turned out she was just upset about her car. And I can't say that I blame her. I stood there, until one of the strangers/angels that stopped made me sit down in the grass. I wish I had names and addresses for all of those people. I'd send them a postcard to tell them thank-you.
I remember thinking how, from where I was sitting, it looked like my car had no front end at all. I rocked myself back and forth, as some angel who spoke hardly any English took a seat next to me. No front end. My car was done. I wrecked my car. I wrecked someone else's car. I wrecked my arm. "My Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner."
Soon enough, the paramedics got there and, upon seeing I was the only injured one and asking me the same questions over and over again, taped me to a body board, put a make-shift splint and neck brace on me, and loaded me into the ambulance. At this point, I was in no pain from the adrenaline, and figured that, if I had to be injured in a wreck, I might as well get to ride in the back of an ambulance. It was so surreal. The guy in the back with me would be cracking jokes one minute and frantically checking vitals the next.
I want to write down all the details, so that I never forget, but I don't think a blog is the proper place, and I imagine that one day, I will be trying to forget.
My folks met us at the emergency room in Greenville, and after a lengthy wait, we found out that I was bruised and sprained, with a broken pinky finger that might need surgery. That's all.
The next day, while I was trying to convince friends back in Searcy that it was no big deal, my suitemate reminded me "Allison, people die in car crashes!" She was right. I was so blessed. And my God hasn't stopped blessing me! The doctor thinks I won't need surgery on my finger. My severely sprained wrist felt 85% better this morning than it did last night. My dad changed up our auto insurance policy in March. He got an accident forgiveness. And the insurance company gave us a check big enough to get me a car similar to the one I wrecked. I don't know what I would have done had Robby not been in the car with me. Sunday night after I got back to my house, my sister Audrey gave me a huge hug. Best Audrey hug ever. My mom put up with my freaking out on the drive home and then typed my reserach paper for me that night. My dad has handled the insurance stuff and even bought me Birthday Cake ice cream. My friends have showered me with love, and my Christian family have covered me with prayers.
Today at church, I got my good cry. I hadn't really cried in a week, which is a stretch for me even on a normal week. I mentioned to a friend how I had needed to be there this morning and hear what was said. And like a good friend, she made me tell her why. And I realized, that I have to be able to tell these stories. I've learned so much from this incident. You can expect many more blog posts about what I've learned. Because I've got a story. I've got a word. Maybe I'm the worst story teller ever, but I've gotta be able to tell this one. Because it's not just my story or my family's story. This is God's Story.
This is Good News.
